Change, transition it surrounds us in life constantly – we all know the one certainty in life is change.
But right now during lockdown-life and beyond the amount of change is becoming a trauma all of its own. There is no time to adjust before the next wave hits you, no time to stand up and brace yourself for impact, you are already on your knees. Yet some appear to thrive and this can feed your insecurities further.
Following a recent event where we held a safe circle with @mother_fit and @mother_wild, it was evident to us all, no matter what our story and situation in life we all were moving through our emotions in seemingly never ending waves. Literally, by the hour we might oscillate from anger, frustration, exhaustion, hostility, depression and then within the next be at some level of acceptance, only to flip right back again.
It was powerful and humbling to witness this for each other, to see and hear in eyes and words that our story matters, that we were being heard (not fixed) and how by owning our vulnerabilities and sharing our truth, even briefly, actually does gift some solace and much needed comfort right now.
So what can we do to brace ourselves (from our knees) and keep going?
Well first I feel we need to ditch the concept and pressure of ‘having to achieve’ or achieve in the sense we are often conditioned to believe. You are ‘doing’ enough already, working from home, balancing the schooling, ensuring everyone can eat and my god how much does everyone eat! Tripping over each other, seeing plans disintegrate and often being impacted from near or far by sad news and offering sanctuary for others.
By becoming more aware of how it feels to be ‘human’ in this environment could offer some of the biggest unexpected gifts (arn’t they always the best ones?) so what might that look like?
Things to contemplate….
- Honour each moment of change and its related emotions with gentleness and compassion, even the anger. By doing so we are actually offering others ‘permission’ to do the same and our children are witnessing resilience first hand. By owning and recognising our various emotional states we are in a better place to transition through them faster. There is no avoiding an emotion but we can move more effectively through them. Reality check… it’s not pretty but its a hell of a life skill! This ‘brand’ of self leadership is where change can begin to work for you instead of against you now and in the future.
- Bring awareness to the stories you are repeating and language you are using, can you adjust the words to serve you and your audience better? By reflecting your truth, honouring your core values and communicating clearly, screw relying on assumptions, they take up way too much energy, of which we have none to spare right now! Deal in facts, what you can control (ie your immediate sphere of ripple) and leave the rest, it will always be there for you.
- Connect into the physical and emotional feelings and senses of ‘being human’ which are held within our body and tap into it’s integral intuition. We often forget the feelings and sensations of ‘being alive’ we numb them in noise, in the brief moments of quiet we gain key insights, try and create moments of quiet, gift your body what it seeks, it will reciprocate.
- Notice what/who brings positive, calm energy into your daily life, and that which does not. Being more conscious and strategic here offers more space and choice on where we spend our energy. Your energy usage matters, it’s a precious resource, YOU matter and it’s your choice to use your energy where you want; healthy boundaries around what we need are key.
- Use the different stages of change (eg anger, depression, acceptance) which might present to begin to heal gently. Restore and reflect using different techniques [eg. paint, poetry, journaling, nature connection, meditation, yoga – along side nutrition, exercise, sleep and professional help where needed]. You don’t need to learn a new skill or bake a banana loaf, this is about using your inner wisdom and reconnecting to you. Seek out help professional help where you need it.
- Recognise where you feel vulnerable/triggered and how this feeling might impact your response and reaction, take the micro-pause, outside where possible and plug into nature for a few moments. Notice in the pause what’s really beneath it all, often we unconsciously reflect onto others, what we feel about ourselves. By taking a micro-pause when you least imagine you have the time could be the most efficient use of time there is.
It was a honour to share these brief moments with some inspirational women and offer each other safe space and I invite you all to continue to create these spaces for each other now and in the future. I believe we are better together.
With loving kindness